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Christmas music usually has themes of spreading holiday spirit, merrymaking, and peace on Earth. While that’s good and all, sometimes you just want to feel an emotion besides sweet saccharine joy during the holiday season. Mariah Carey, Nat King Cole, and any “Carol of the Bells” rendition will always have a soft spot in my heart, but when I want to explore other feelings the Christmas season gives me, I put on these not-so-jolly and less well-known Christmas songs. 

“Christmas for Cowboys” by John Denver

Growing up, my parents had a well-worn mix tape of Christmas songs that would live in our family mini-van’s tape player every Christmas season. Sandwiched between Dolly Parton and Burl Ives was this gem from John Denver that I’ve never heard played anywhere else. While most Christmas songs celebrate being together with friends and family, this ballad highlights how even when you are completely alone on the holiday (which I have been) that doesn’t mean the day has to be any less special. 

“Christmas at 22” by The Wonder Years

When you’re young, Christmas is about spending (even more) time with your family. But when you grow older and move away to college, the holiday becomes a time when you get to go back to your hometown and see your best friends from high school and how much everyone has changed (or hasn’t). Some may roll their eyes at the song because it hits about every pop punk cliche imaginable (pizza, AIM away messages, hanging out with my friends), but I think it perfectly captures what that point in your life—Christmas at 22—feels like. 

“The Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues 

Somehow I managed to go almost 30 years of my life without ever hearing this song (despite it apparently being the UK’s most played Christmas song of the 21st century), but after discovering it last year I don’t think I’ll ever go another Christmas without it. The song has dark themes–drug abuse, gambling, domestic disputes, homophobic slurs–and yet still presents an air of hope for a better life in the way only Christmas can.

“Won’t Be Home For Christmas” by Blink 182

Let’s be honest: as an adult, Christmas can be a giant pain. Whether you are working at Toys R’ Us and getting sworn out by deal-crazed grandmothers or are spending hours cutting paper stocking decorations that are going to get thrown away in two weeks, Christmas can you make you feel like a big Scroogey-Grinch at times. There’s nothing profound in the lyrics of Blink 182’s Christmas contribution, except that yeah, you’re not alone in sometimes wanting to grab a baseball bat and send carolers running from your front door. 

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Every one has a guilty pleasure and mine so happens to be found on YouTube. “Snog, Marry, Avoid” was an English TV show that claims to help people embrace their natural beauty. On each episode, three flashy young men and women are brought into P.O.D. (a “make-under” robot with attitude) and forced to shed their loud makeup, fake tans, and hair extensions for a more natural, socially-accepted level of attractiveness. Make-unders may include cutting and dying hair to a more natural shade, removing facial piercings, a new wardrobe of less revealing clothing, and makeup in neutral shades. The title comes from a poll taken by strangers on the street. The strangers are shown a picture of the contestant and asked if they would rather snog (a.k.a. kiss), marry, or avoid them. The initial reaction is usually avoid for reason such as they’re wearing “too much make up” or because their “clothes are too skimpy”. Some of their comments can be quite rude actually. After their make-under, the reactions are generally much more positive with the pollers stating that they would elect to either snog or marry the contestant if they could. Once the shock of seeing themselves in this new fashion wears off, most contestants generally like their new appearance. However, occasionally the show checks up on past contestants and we see that they usually revert to their past ways of too much fake tanner and midriff bearing tops. 

Here’s a little taster of what an average episode looks like:

While I believe that everyone should dress the way they want and live the lifestyle they enjoy, I always get a little teary eyed after the make-under when I see a contestant who is truly shocked at and enjoys their new look. I guess I just want everyone to have their happily-ever-after moment. What’s your favorite “junk” television show?